You fail your driving test... because you're female.

Comparing and contrasting ability differences between genders have always been a touchy topic. More so when dealing with the stereotyped assumption that men are better drivers than female ones. It is for this reason that I have to be extremely unbiased with my stand. If I am not careful, I would be branded an animal. Not just any animal, specifically a two-legged mutant pig with chauvinistic notions, arch-enemy of females all around the world.

This is why I believe, men are such amazing drivers when put next to female ones. Why the diplomacy with that statement you ask. Why do I not just proclaim men’s obvious superiority? Well I believe in honesty and objectivity. As shocking as it may sound guys, you do not totally rule as the superior gender over females. Women are definitely somewhat better in some ways too, like you know, giving birth.


We give you that girls, we’re man enough to admit that there are indeed some ways you might be slightly more talented when compared to us males. Then why do you females always make such a ruckus when we state the obvious fact that we’re better drivers? For one, you females are terrible decision makers, and thus, terrible “lane-changers”. Men are generally very used to making prompt yet important decisions. In our compulsory two lovely years of “national slavery”, most of us are enlisted into the army. One of the training programs that we go through is to learn to throw a grenade. Now, phonemes, synthatics, semantics and pragmatics given to us are very clear and simple. We pull the pin, we throw the grenade. What we don’t do, is ponder over unnecessary questions. We do not observe the wind change. We also do not project a best possible angle for optimized results. Hesitation is normally and most usually fatal, and we have been well-trained to avoid it. Now, of course I am not proposing that it should be compulsory for women to have grenade lessons. That is just ridiculous, with mortality rates already on the rise; we just cannot take the risk.

Another reason why men are better drivers is the fact that we’re just better internally-wired to drive than you females. Don't blame it on the internal-external locus of attribution, and it is not a fundamental attribution error either. It is men’s natural tendency to have a passion for speed, and to push limits to the extreme. For example, hand a male a sports car. In a single week, he would have attempted to control a drift, pushed the engine to its top speed, and experienced handling the car on adverse road conditions. Chuck the same car to a female, and she will be wondering which soft toys would be best interior decoration. Now, consider a time of need arises, and perhaps they both have a dying relative in the backseat of their car. The male will definitely be able to send the relative safely to the hospital in record time, while the female will probably be better off hailing a cab. This is of course, mind you, after washing the blood stains off her soft toys and seat first. Faster isn’t necessary better you argue? In fact, you knowingly insist “slow is the way to go” as it is much safer, and less prone to accidents. Your statement however, is not valid. It is just like a seventy-five year old man driving around at thirty to forty kilometres per hour. He proudly boasts that he has been driving for more than fifty years and never had an accident. Well technically yes, but how many has he caused?


The final reason why men are superior in driving is because we play video games, racing video games to be exact. You females have always been laughing at our mindless obsession over moving pixels, but guess who has the last laugh. Indeed, it is true that the hours that a boy can spend playing these senseless games are astronomical. However, what this also means is that these hours translate to viable driving experience. Even before a boy is old enough to obtain his driving license, he has probably already netted more driving hours than the average adult female! An increase in reaction and response times is just one of the few positive side effects nurtured through gaming. More importantly, boys also end up with a better knowledge of car peripherals. One truth I learnt through these games might be shocking to most female readers, so do caution yourself before reading the next part. The rear-view mirror is really a clever invention to observe the vehicles behind you, and not a strategically placed mirror that is convenient for applying your makeup. Acknowledging and understanding this piece of information will definitely take awhile females, but persevere on, you have my support.


I hope to have shown as objectively as possible the difference in gender traits, which leads to men’s obvious superiority in driving skills. We men have acknowledged your talents, and the least you females can do is to accept ours. If you still insist otherwise, as a last resort I suppose we could call you creature names like “pig” too. However, that will be incredibly mean. That would be too harsh an insult to our four-legged friends now wouldn’t it?